As I was moving ahead occasionally I saw brief glimpses of beauty
‘I have never been able really, to figure out, where my life begins, and where it ends.
I have never never been able to figure it all out. What’s all about.. What it all means..
So when I began now, to put all these rolls of film(toughts of time/memory) together. To string them together. The first idea was to keep them chronological.
But then I gave up. And I just began placing them together by chance. The way I found them on the shelve. Because I did not know, where any piece of my life, really belongs. So let it be. Let it go. Just by pure chance. Disorder. There is some coherence, some kind of order, in order of it’s own.. Which I do not really understand. Same as I never understood life around me. The real life, as they say. Or the real people.
I never understood them.
I still do not understand them.
And.. I do not really want to understand them.’